Trauma Isn’t Always Loud: Recognizing the Subtle Signs of Suppressed Pain

When we think of trauma, we often imagine dramatic flashbacks, panic attacks, or emotional breakdowns. But trauma doesn’t always show up that way. Sometimes, it whispers instead of screams.

In The Trauma Monster, Barb Dorrington brings compassionate attention to the quieter side of trauma—the side that hides behind success, smiles, and silence. She reminds us that suppressed pain is still pain. And that healing begins with recognizing it.

The Hidden Nature of Suppressed Trauma

Many people with trauma don’t realize they’re carrying it. Especially if the trauma was long ago, subtle, or normalized in childhood. Rather than explode outwardly, the pain turns inward—affecting thoughts, behaviors, and the body in subtle, persistent ways.

These are the trauma responses that don’t always get noticed, even by the person experiencing them.

Subtle Signs You Might Be Carrying Suppressed Pain

• Chronic overthinking or indecision
  You analyze every move, fearing the consequences of being wrong. This may stem from past experiences where mistakes weren’t safe.

• People-pleasing or perfectionism
  You overextend, overachieve, or avoid conflict at all costs. You’ve learned that your worth is tied to performance or approval.

• Emotional numbness or “flatness”
  You don’t cry or get excited easily. Joy and sadness both feel distant. This protective shut-down is a common trauma response.

• Restlessness or inability to slow down
  You stay busy to avoid sitting with discomfort. Stillness feels threatening, not restful.

• Feeling “off” without a clear reason
  You may feel low, disconnected, or anxious—without an obvious cause. Suppressed trauma can live just beneath the surface, triggered by everyday moments.

Why These Signs Are Often Missed

In a society that values productivity and stoicism, these trauma symptoms are often mistaken for personality traits or “just how I am.” But underneath, they may be rooted in pain that was never validated or healed.

Barb Dorrington encourages us to look beneath the surface—to ask not, “What’s wrong with me?” but, “What happened to me?” and “What is still asking to be seen?”

What You Can Do to Begin Healing

1. Get Curious, Not Critical

Start by observing your patterns with compassion. What feels familiar? What might be a survival strategy rather than a flaw?

2. Listen to the Body

Your body may be holding clues your mind has buried. Pay attention to tension, fatigue, gut feelings, or tightness in your chest.

3. Create Space to Feel

Give yourself permission to feel, even if you don’t fully understand why. Emotions like sadness, anger, or fear are valid—even if they don’t come with a clear story.

4. Name What Wasn’t Safe to Name Before

Journaling, therapy, or creative expression can help you bring suppressed experiences into the light, where they can be processed with safety and care.

5. Seek Gentle Support

You don’t have to unpack suppressed trauma alone. Trauma-informed professionals or supportive communities can hold space for your journey with understanding and care.

You Don’t Have to Be Loud to Be Heard

Just because your trauma doesn’t shout, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Just because you seem “fine” on the outside, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve healing on the inside.

As The Trauma Monster reminds us, you don’t have to wait until you break down to begin your healing. You can start by noticing, by listening, and by giving yourself permission to feel.

Your pain is real. Your story matters. And even in silence, you are not alone.