When it comes to healing from trauma, many of us imagine progress as a straight upward line: each day a little better than the last, each milestone bringing us closer to peace. But the truth, as Barb Dorrington reminds us in The Trauma Monster, is that healing does not follow a straight path. It is messy. It is cyclical. And setbacks are not signs of failure. They are part of the process.
The Myth of Linear Healing:
We live in a culture that loves quick fixes and simple solutions. So when old triggers resurface or painful feelings return, it is easy to think you are back at square one. But you are not. Healing is not about never being triggered again. It is about responding to those moments with greater awareness, resilience, and compassion than you could before.
Why Setbacks Happen:
Trauma is stored in the nervous system, not just the mind. That means certain sounds, smells, places, or situations can unexpectedly bring the past rushing back. Setbacks happen because healing is not about erasing the past. It is about learning to live with it in new ways.
Stressful seasons, new relationships, or big life changes can also stir up old wounds. This does not mean you are failing. It means you are human.
How to Embrace Setbacks as Part of Healing:
-
Reframe the Setback: Instead of asking why you are back here again, try asking what this moment is here to teach you now. Each wave brings new insight.
-
Notice the Progress: Even if the pain feels familiar, you are not the same person you were the last time. Maybe you recovered quicker. Maybe you used healthier coping strategies. That is progress.
-
Practice Self-Compassion: Setbacks often trigger shame. Speak to yourself gently: "It is okay to struggle. This does not erase the healing I have done."
-
Lean on Support: Reach out to safe people, support groups, or therapists. Healing in community reminds you that you are not alone.
-
Rest, Reset, and Continue: Sometimes what feels like a setback is your body's way of asking for rest. Honor that need, then keep moving forward at your own pace.
The Spiral of Healing:
Think of healing not as a straight line but as a spiral. You may circle back to old pain, but each time you do, you are approaching it from a higher level of awareness. You are not starting over. You are moving deeper into wholeness.
As Barb Dorrington shares in The Trauma Monster, setbacks do not define your healing. Your courage to keep going does.
Healing is not about perfection. It is about persistence. And every step, even the ones that feel backward, is still part of the journey forward.