The holiday season arrives with a whirlwind of expectations, shopping, planning, hosting, attending, decorating, performing, and pleasing. Everywhere you look, there is a message that you should be doing more. But for trauma survivors, December's pace can feel unbearable. Your nervous system may already be working overtime, and the added pressure of the season can push you toward exhaustion.
In The Trauma Monster, Barb Dorrington reminds us that rest is not laziness. It is medicine. It is how we step out of survival mode and offer our bodies the care they have been denied for far too long.
This month, consider giving yourself the gift you truly need: rest.
Why Rest Feels Hard for Trauma Survivors:
Trauma often teaches us that safety comes from staying busy, staying useful, staying small, or staying quiet. Rest can feel dangerous because it requires stillness, and stillness leaves room for thoughts, feelings, and memories.
Many survivors struggle with feeling guilty when not being productive, difficulty relaxing or slowing the mind, a nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight mode, and the belief that rest must be earned.
But the truth is simple: you deserve rest because you exist, not because you have done enough.
December Does Not Have to Be Busy for You:
You get to choose a different pace, one that supports your healing. Here are gentle ways to incorporate rest into a season that often demands the opposite.
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Give Yourself Permission to Pause: Before December begins, ask yourself what you can let go of, what is truly necessary, and where you can choose ease instead of obligation. Let your answers guide your month.
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Create Moments of Micro-Rest: Rest does not always mean hours of sleep or long breaks. Sometimes it is sitting quietly for five minutes, taking slow breaths before entering a busy room, placing a hand on your heart to calm your body, or turning off your phone for an hour. Small rests add up, especially during stressful seasons.
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Protect Your Energy With Boundaries: Say no to what drains you. Say yes to what nourishes you. This might mean skipping events that overwhelm your nervous system, asking others to share responsibilities, leaving gatherings early, or choosing rest over tradition. You are not obligated to exhaust yourself for anyone's expectations.
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Build Restful Rituals: Support your body with rituals that bring calm such as warm baths, reading in bed under soft lighting, gentle stretching, listening to peaceful music, or drinking something warm while watching the snow. Rituals anchor your nervous system in safety.
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Release the Guilt: Resting during a busy season can make you feel like you are falling behind, but healing asks you to do the opposite. Tell yourself that rest is productive for your healing, that you are allowed to slow down, and that your worth is not tied to how much you do. Your body needs rest more than it needs perfection.
Rest Is a Form of Resistance:
In a world obsessed with speed, rest is powerful. It is how you reclaim your body, your peace, and your autonomy from the trauma that once controlled you.
As Barb Dorrington teaches in The Trauma Monster, slowing down is not a setback. It is a sign of healing. When you choose rest, you tell your nervous system that you are safe now and you do not have to fight anymore.
This December, give yourself the gift that no one else can give you: a softer, slower season that supports your healing instead of draining it.